


Returning

by TheDogPotato



Series: Fear and Power [2]
Category: Whitechapel (TV)
Genre: Angst, Gen, Supernatural Elements, Torture, Violence, psychic!Kent
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-08
Updated: 2019-03-22
Packaged: 2019-10-06 18:32:19
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 6
Words: 14,935
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17350388
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheDogPotato/pseuds/TheDogPotato
Summary: Kent has a rough time returning to work after his experience at Louise Iver's house.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> My goal is to update this story every 2 weeks :)

It was a flicker of the light that woke him up. Kent briefly thought about how they were supposed to have fixed that before realising that he was still at work. He’d fallen asleep there somehow. Why hadn’t anyone woken him up?

Realising that the only light-source in the incident room was coming from his desk lamp, he had probably stayed late, but he couldn’t remember. What had happened before this?

He looked around the room, trying to shake the feeling that something was wrong, but as he got more awake, the unease grew. His eyes fell upon the dim light shining out through the blinds of Chandler’s office, and his stomach dropped. Chandler. He’d almost attacked him. He’d yelled and cursed at him, and then what? He’d stayed and fallen asleep? That couldn’t be right. Something was off, but he couldn’t place it. Either way, he did not want to stay here much longer if it was just him and Chandler. He’d have to apologise at some point, but the unease had quickly grown into anxiety, his heart thumping, his throat dry and a creeping nausea coming over him.

He turned off his computer and stood up to grab the coat that he’d hung across the back of his chair when he heard the click of the door behind him. He froze, not daring to turn around.

“You still haven’t gone home?” The question was clear. Chandler had seen his advice for Kent to take some time off earlier in the day as an order, and Kent hadn’t obeyed it.

“No…” Kent whispered, the voice barely creeping out of his dry throat, but it wasn’t loud enough for Chandler to hear it.

“Turn around and answer me, constable!” He commanded.

Kent turned around as he was told. Standing in the doorway of the lit office, Chandler came across as an imposing dark silhouette, his features clouded in shadow. Kent didn’t want to see them anyway. He knew which Chandler he would find. The one who had coldly told him off, when he’d hoped for sympathy for his black eye, and not the soft features of the man who cared so much for his whole team. He held his arms out defensively without thinking.

“No,” he answered Chandler’s question, louder this time.

“Have you completely lost your respect for me?” Chandler started walking towards Kent, who instinctively felt the need to run away, but stopped himself cause it was just Chandler. “How dare you bring up my father, disobey my orders, yell at me, and maybe even threaten to _hurt_ me?” At the word “hurt”, he’d produced a knife that glinted briefly in the light of the desk lamp. Kent noticed he was wearing medical gloves.

“Sir, please. I’m sorry. I’m sorry I yelled at you, I didn’t mean to.” Kent immediately began, trying to deescalate the situation. He’d never seen Chandler as upset as he currently was. “Please, you know I’d never do anything to purposefully upset you.”

Chandler smiled, but it didn’t reach his eyes. He raised the knife to look at it. “It’s not good enough. I need to know that I can trust you to not make a mistake like that again. I need you to remember this, and since my words didn’t work…” he looked up at Kent coldly before reaching out a gloved hand to grab him.

“ _No_!” Kent’s immediate reaction was to jump backwards forgetting the chair behind him. He tripped and landed painfully on his back, the wind getting knocked from his lungs. Chandler stepped over him, and he crossed his arms protectively across his face. “Sir, please. _Please_!” He begged, the last word growing loud and panicky as the knife swung down towards him. The blade tore deeply into his left forearm, and he screamed with all the air he had left in his lungs.

Before he knew it, Chandler was straddling him. With one hand, he grabbed the wounded arm tightly. “Look at me!” he demanded.

Trying to get away from the increased pain, he flinched away, curling in on himself burying his head in his arms, the right arm across the left, to provide the faintest shield from Chandler. “Look at me, _Kent_!” He’d never heard his name uttered with such disgust, and it was this, more than the flaring pain of the knife being slowly dragged down his right arm, that had him remove his arms, and finally his tear-filled eyes met Chandler’s eyes. They were cruel and hard. Kent felt very small under his gaze. There was short pause, and then Chandler raised his knife again.

“Please, no more, sir.” Kent started pleading again. He couldn’t describe the hurt he felt at Chandler doing this to him, not even showing one ounce of remorse, but pleading was all he could do. Maybe he could get through to him. “I promise I’ll never step out of line again. Never. You don’t have to do this. I’ve learned my…”  

“Be silent!” Chandler demanded.

“Yes sir,” Kent whispered, fearful that even his affirmative might be a violation of the order. Chandler grabbed his chin, forcefully opening his jaw.

“Good. Now let’s make sure you stay silent.”

With a gloved hand, he reached inside Kent’s mouth and grabbed his tongue. Kent gagged, but couldn’t move otherwise, frozen in place as his eyes followed the trajectory of the knife towards his mouth, and then there was nothing but pain and a warm liquid threatening to suffocate him, all the while his ears were filled with a horrible sound that turned out to be the sound of his own scream. 

His world was darkness until he was finally able to open his eyes through the pain. His vision was blurry, but turning his head, he could make out the towering figure of Chandler standing over his desk, meticulously working on something. That was all he could see before he had to turn his head to avoid the blood running down his oesophagus. He didn’t manage in time and had to cough to keep from choking. As he lay there, staring at the blood pooling around him, he wondered how long it would take for him to die. It felt like an eternity had already gone by and still Chandler was just there next to him, completely calm in the face of these events. _Chandler._

He couldn’t keep track of all of his emotions. He was just feeling _so much_. Fear at what was happening, sadness at how his family would miss him, betrayal at how Chandler could have done this to him, guilt, hurt, anger, and above all else: Pain. Never-ending pain.

Somehow it intensified when once again his jaw was forced open. Kent was sputtering now that his head was turned towards Chandler and the blood could no longer escape his mouth. Chandler didn’t bother explaining anything to Kent before a glowing white piece of metal was pressed toward what was left of his tongue. Agony. Kent’s gurgling scream was accompanied by the sizzling of blood this time.

The piece of metal clattered against the floor. _Clank, clank, knock, knock, knock._

“Emerson?” Kent vaguely registered a female voice.

_Knock, knock, knock. Click._

“Emerson, are you okay?”

Kent found himself in his bedroom. He was covered in sweat and the bed was a mess from him thrashing about in his sleep. As his eyes got used to the dark, he could see Elisabeth peeking into his room.

“Yes,” Kent answered automatically, even though he wasn’t. “Did I scream?” he asked, feeling guilty. Elisabeth was a light sleeper, so him screaming would have definitely woken her up, and rather unpleasantly he could imagine.

“You did,” Kent could hear from her tone, she wasn’t entirely convinced he was alright. None of his roommates knew exactly why he’d been to the hospital, other than it having to do with him passing out at work. Joyce, studying to become a doctor, had tried to pry information from him, but when he insisted that he couldn’t tell her, she’d eventually stopped asking. Elisabeth had known him longer and knew him to be a private person. As soon as he’d implied he didn’t wanna discuss it, she’d let him be, but that didn’t mean, she didn’t worry about him, so of course she’d come to see if he was okay.

Kent winced. “I’m sorry about that. It was just a nightmare. It’s okay!”  

She paused for a moment, before nodding. “Alright. Just know that we’re here if you want to talk about it.”

“Thanks,” Kent said. She smiled at him before closing the door. Kent was glad it was her who’d heard him and not Joyce. She’d have been more prying and the less his roommates realised about the state he was in, the better.

Kent had hoped that things would get better once he came back from the hospital and got to sleep in his own bed. He hated hospitals. Always had. When he’d been a kid, they’d always felt cold and scary. Kent knew that feeling all to well now, it was the amount of souls lingering there. Even as a kid, he’d somehow been able to sense it. That’s how strong it was.

He’d thought it had been bad then, but nothing could have prepared him for spending the night there after he got his powers. He’d shivered through the night as if he was trying to sleep outside in the snow and had been bombarded with spirits trying to contact him. Friendly, angry, sad, so many sad spirits, and he didn’t have any resolve to push them away from him. Some wanted him to pass messages on to people he had no clue who were, others just wanted to talk to him, some blamed him for stuff now that they finally had someone they could blame. He’d almost gotten no sleep and had looked forward to getting home and being well-rested, but of course the world wasn’t gonna be _that_ kind to him.

Exhausted, as was his current permanent state, he had no trouble falling asleep in his own wonderful bed, but with the deep sleep came the nightmare. It had been the same every day. It was him reliving the nightmare that being near Louise Iver had caused. When he’d first experienced it, he felt _everything_. It had been real to him. When he woke up, the experience was a memory, something he’d lived. It still seemed like a memory, but Kent was working hard on telling himself that it wasn’t real. It was all he could do, cause his mind wouldn’t let him forget, playing the full experience for him every time he fell into a deep sleep. At least when he woke up, he immediately knew it had been a nightmare, and didn’t have to go through what he did at the hospital where his fake memories and the real world had confusedly clashed, making him fearful of the real Chandler. The real Chandler who had saved him, and happily greeted him, and yelled at him and grabbed his face and….

No! That Chandler wasn’t real. Why did he have to be so stupid? Why couldn’t he just get it into his thick head that the real Chandler had worried about him and confusedly respected him when he’d acted so fearful towards him. Oh god, he really had acted like that, hadn’t he?

He felt so guilty. The real Chandler had saved him, and then he was repaid like _that_. With Kent acting as if he was a monster.

He’d started crying, or maybe he’d been crying since he woke up, who knows. Maybe that was why he couldn’t convince Elisabeth that he was alright. He tried to wipe away the tears, but they kept coming. He thought of how Chandler had respectfully said goodbye to him, when he’d started crying at the hospital. Oh no, the others must think of him as so weak and fragile. He got angry at himself and tried to stop from crying, but it didn’t work and in the end,  he ended up angrily clutching his pillow, while letting the tears soak into it.

He was gonna be exhausted at the therapist the next day, but damn it, he was gonna get better. He had to. He had to come back and show them that he could. Only Miles and Chandler knew about his powers, and he couldn’t tell the others, so he had to get past this and back into the game.

At some point the feelings began to even out, and Kent found himself resting against the pillow properly again. He thought the room had gotten a bit lighter, and weren’t those birds? Huh, it must’ve gotten late, he thought, and then a flicker of the light woke him up. Weren’t they supposed to have fixed that?


	2. Chapter 2

More than a month had passed. They’d entered the New Year and Kent was ready to return to work. At least he told himself that. A month wasn’t long when you were fighting with your mind, but as time passed, the dreams had come less and less, and with that, Kent had finally gotten some proper sleep again, which had helped him actually function as a human being, socialising with his roommates and helping around the flat. Things weren’t exactly _good_ , but they were better. He still had the dream from time to time, sometimes it was only part of it, but it was still just as horrible. He didn’t wake up screaming anymore, so his friends had the clear impression that he was getting better as well. They’d spent the whole of December being extra Christmassy to lighten the mood, and Kent had often visited his family as well.

The first visit had been bad. He was still very far from alright and didn’t know how to talk to them about it. He felt like they’d been pressing him to talk, and he didn’t know how, but he did know it was just out of worry. Eventually they too had dropped it and focused on being Christmassy as well. Christmas had been the first properly good day in a long time. He’d felt safe and warm together with his family, among them his aunt whom he’d also talked to a lot. She’d helped him as best she could, and had gifted him not one, but two of her trinkets, so he didn’t have to deal with the cold on the days he didn’t have the energy to will away any ghosts.

The days in between Christmas and New Year had been a rollercoaster of bad and good days. On the good days he felt secure and ready to go back to work, and on the bad days he felt like he was never going to be ready to work again, that he was a failure and that his co-workers, his friends, were gonna think badly of him. It had been so much easier back when he’d been attacked by the Krays. Sure, he’d been scared, but the wounds had been physical, and as soon as he’d figured out the crutches and the pain wasn’t too bad, he had thrown himself into work again. By doing that he could directly combat the people who had caused him his pain. But Louise Iver was already gone, and in his mind, Chandler was now the demon. It wasn’t something he could fight. He could only repeat at himself that it wasn’t true, and hopefully in time, he’d fully believe it.

The day had come. Kent was standing outside the station trying to prepare himself mentally, but he knew that postponing it wouldn’t do him any favours, so he finally gathered the courage to step inside. The station looked the same, except for a couple of Christmas decorations that still hadn’t come down.

He looked into the incident room. It was brightly lit and busy already. Kent wasn’t late, but he was later than he normally had been. He didn’t want to have to face an awkward situation where it was just him and Chandler.

He hadn’t talked to any of his co-workers directly, but they’d sent him get well wishes and a few of them, Christmas presents, which he’d responded to, though he hadn’t had the energy to give anyone any presents back. He was sure they would understand.

He opened the door to the incident room and carefully walked inside, feeling like a kid going into their first day at a new school. Unsure of what to do, and how to talk to people, but before he’d even reached his desk, his friends were there to greet him.

“Emerson!” Riley had been talking to another officer, and Kent saw her say a couple of last works to him while gesturing towards him. The officer nodded, as Riley turned around to walk over to him and give him a big hug.

“Welcome back! How are you doing?” Kent reciprocated the hug but didn’t really know what to tell her. She only knew that he’d ended up in hospital after going to Louise Iver’s house by himself, but Kent was quite sure that that was all she knew.

“Um, I’m alright,” he replied vaguely.

“That bitch! I’m glad she’s gone, even though I’m sorry for the boss that she had to go out like all the others.”

Just the mention of Chandler had Kent’s heart beating faster.

“He was really down for the next week, and you were gone. No one was feeling very Christmassy I can tell you that, but then the most incredible thing happened. It was like this weight lifted off us all. People started getting in the Christmas spirit, and the change in mood must have gotten our mind focused cause we’ve solved several cases. Like proper solved, killer apprehended and not finding-them-inexplicably-dead-later-on-solved,” Riley told him.

“Oh,” Kent said with what he hoped was a smile. It sounded really good, and it could probably be linked with the defeat of Louise Iver, he told himself, and yet, he also vaguely entertained the idea that it might be cause he hadn’t been there. What if things were about to go wrong cause he’d come back?

“Kent?” Riley cautiously waved her hand in front of him and he snapped out of his thoughts.

“Sorry. Just gotta get my brain into gear again, I think,” Kent said this time with a proper smile to deflect any questions Riley might throw at him if she thought something was wrong.

“Yeah, I get you, and I’ve only had a couple days of vacation, just to celebrate the big days with the kids. I’m sure Miles will have something for you that’ll be easy to dig into!”

“Yeah, that’d be good,” Kent replied.

“DC Kent!” Buchan appeared from the archives, his arms full of documents. “I would give you a hug to welcome you back, but…” He nodded towards his arms, then gave a sort of bow instead. “This’ll have to do. Welcome back! Things are good and busy!”

Kent smiled at him, as he walked on.

“Right, I should probably find my desk. Unless it’s been given away?” Kent said.

“Nah, it’s been collecting dust for a month, so it should be mostly as you left it,” Riley said, nodding towards it, and from the looks of it she was right.

Kent walked towards the desk, but he’d barely sat down, before Mansell came over.

“Good to see you back, mate!” he said with a grin as he slapped his shoulder. He and Mansell had still been recovering from the weeks of Louise Iver terrorising the station when Kent had gone after her, and the genuine smile and grin from him was not what Kent had expected to see. It probably had to do with him being hurt and away, that had Mansell on his best behaviour.

“Thanks,” Kent replied simply.

“You already hear about how things improved? It’s been great! It’s a good time to come back,” Mansell said happily, and Kent realised that he was encouraging him that coming back wasn’t gonna be bad. He _had_ been away from a month and even though Mansell and Riley didn’t know the exact details, they knew that he hadn’t been ready to come back, and now he was reassuring him. Kent had mixed feelings about it. It was nice to see that they cared, especially Mansell, with whom he’d physically fought just a month and a half ago, but he couldn’t help but feel that they saw him as weak and fragile.

“Yeah, I did. That’s good,” he once again stated simply, not really adding much to any conversation he was a part of.

All of a sudden Miles was there. He could never claim that the team didn’t care about him.

“Welcome back, Kent!” He said smiling softly. His face hardened as he looked at Mansell, and he barked shortly: “Haven’t you got work to do?”

“Haha, sorry, Skip, just saying welcome back is all!” Mansell said clearly not taking the gruff tone too seriously. By the looks of Miles, he wasn’t supposed to either. Mansell clapped Kent’s shoulder once again as he walked away.

“Sorry, I just had to talk to you privately,” Miles said as he grabbed a chair and sat in front of him. “How are you feeling?”

Kent thought for a moment before giving an honest answer: “I’m feeling alright. Not every day, but it’s better. I think I can do this. It’s been alright so far, but then work hasn’t started yet, so who knows,” he smiled genuinely at Miles who responded with a nod of his head.

“That’s good to hear. Now Chandler is gonna give a briefing on the latest case in just a moment. Will you be okay with that?”

Kent blinked at the question. “Yeah?” he said unsurely. “Why…” he began, but Miles looked at him knowingly. Kent glanced around to see if anyone was listening.

“Has he told you all?” He asked concerned. What were the others gonna think of him, having believed what he did?

“He hasn’t even told me, but I gathered enough from being at Louise Iver’s place, and what he did share from the hospital. It’s alright, the mind is a powerful thing, even when it’s wrong, and I’ve seen people having to deal with seeing their abusers again. Some people don’t even realise how tough it’s gonna be before they see them. Now I can’t say I understand this thing completely, but I just wanted to make sure.”

Kent felt like Miles had seen right through him. He was worried about seeing Chandler again and what his mind would make him think, but he had to be able to do this. He had to. “I’m ready. I wouldn’t have come back yet otherwise!”

Miles nodded. “Alright, but you tell me if something’s off, okay?”

“Yeah,” Kent answered simply. It wasn’t gonna be. He just had to start working, get back into it.

Miles gave him some work to do and he started working when 15 minutes later, Chandler walked out of his office.

Kent’s heart started beating faster. It’s okay. It’s just Chandler, he told himself.

Chandler stopped where he was, far away from Kent. Smiled at him and gave him a small wave. Kent mouthed a hi. He gave a slight nod and then continued towards the whiteboards.

Alright, phew, Kent thought to himself. It might be awkward, but Chandler was just being careful, probably thinking about Kent’s reaction the last time he saw him. It was just gonna take a bit of time for things to go back to normal. He could ignore his heartbeat and the slight nausea it caused.

He looked to the side and noticed Miles keeping an eye on him.

Chandler addressed the whole room, and the familiarity of it eased Kent. He took in the information which distracted from the anxiety, and afterwards he felt pretty good about the whole thing. Chandler left the room immediately after, and Kent could get back to work.

He was positively surprised at how he’d been able to settle in. The bright atmosphere at the station helped, and despite him not wanting to be coddled and thought of as weak, it was nice that the others cared and gave him an easy day to start off.

Despite that he still tired quickly, and with the tiredness, the anxiety started to heighten, but Miles, ever watching over him, offered that he could go home early, it being his first day back and all.

It was with conflicted feelings that he accepted the offer, but he had to know when to choose his battles, and having a completely successful half-day was definitely preferred over having a full day at work in which he messed something up or the anxiety got to him again, he decided.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry about the slight delay. Thanks for the kudos - I appreciate it!


	3. Chapter 3

They hadn’t talked at all the day before, but Kent was fine with that. Chandler was giving him time that he realistically knew he needed.

After having spent the previous day getting settled in and catching up on their current case, he and Mansell had been assigned following up on one of the last people to have seen their victim. Mansell had talked to a friend of the victim who’d mentioned some other people he hung around with a lot. He’d called them shady and talked about how he hadn’t seen the victim as often, since he started talking with them more. He’d especially singled out a person, Richard Simmons, who liked to flaunt his riches, even though no one in the group seemed to have a steady job and they all hung around the victim’s flat more and more. The friend hadn’t outright accused the group, but he’d made it a point to mention how shady they were and that they were probably the last people to have seen him.

And so their plan for the day was to go talk to Simmons. Kent arrived before Mansell and decided to make himself a cup of tea to warm up a bit before having to head out in the cold January weather again.

Riley found him there.

“Making for two?” she asked as she shrugged off her coat and folded it across her arm.

“Yeah,” Kent replied.

“Ta!” she said and disappeared shortly to hang up her coat before coming back. 

“I didn't get to ask yesterday. How was your Christmas?”

“Really nice, actually,” Kent said, happy that she’d asked a question he could truthfully reply positively to.

“Glad to hear it. Mine was crazy. We had family coming over whom we normally only see at weddings and such. I’ve never had to peel that many potatoes in my life.”

Kent handed her her cup of tea and they both continued to her desk, Kent leaning against it.

“Did you have enough potatoes then?”

“Did I?” Riley exclaimed. “Everyone had made so much of everything that there were so many potatoes left we’ve been living off of potatoes. My new year’s resolution was very close to being not eating potatoes.”

Kent laughed into his tea which was hovering right underneath his mouth even though it was still too hot to drink.

Mansell arrived. He didn’t bother to take off his coat but beelined for the other two.

 “Good morning! You ready to go out into the field today?” Mansell asked Kent with a raised brow.

“It’s part of the job,” Kent said with a nonchalant shrug. It was easy settling back in with Riley and Mansell, and Kent was also eager to show others and himself that he could still do the job.

“Ooh good luck! I don’t envy you, having to go out in this weather!” Riley gestured towards the window even though it wasn’t snowing so the only evidence of the cold was the grey light of an early January morning.

“I don’t envy us either. That’s why I just wanna get out there as soon as possible, before I get used to the heat again,” Mansell said.

“Sorry. I just made a cup of tea. Can’t waste that,” Kent smiled.

“And you didn’t make one for me? Unbelievable,” Mansell said throwing his hands dramatically in the air. He grabbed the nearest chair and rolled it over to the others.

They chatted while Kent finished his tea and then took a police car to go have a talk with Simmons. They’d chosen to talk to him first, since the victim’s friend had singled him out. The fact that he had a lot of money but didn’t seem to have a job, had rung an alarm clock as well, and Kent had suggested he and their victim might be involved with drugs which could possibly provide them with a motive for the murder which they hadn’t found yet.

They arrived at a small run-down house and walked up to the door. The button on the doorbell was missing, so Kent knocked instead, exchanging a look with Mansell when no one came to the door. He tried again a little louder, and thought he heard someone on the other side of the door, but no one opened it. He was just about to knock a third time when he heard the distinct sound of a door opening and closing.

“I think, he ran out the back door!” he said shortly to Mansell, who nodded, before they both booked it around the house. They saw a man running at full speed away from the house and pursued him.

He turned a corner in order to get rid of them, but Kent was there to see him disappear behind a fence. He followed him across the fence and arrived in time to see him climbing the fence on the other side of the garden they’d entered. Kent didn’t catch him in time but jumped up to climb the fence as well.

The man was already much further away in the time it had taken Kent to climb the fence, but Kent continued the pursuit. His blood was rushing, and he was starting to feel out of breath, but so was the man and Kent was gaining on him. The next thing he knew he was tackling him and reading him his rights. They’d been right in assuming he was Simmons.

Mansell arrived shortly after.

“Well done, mate! Didn’t expect a race this morning!”

They escorted him back to the police car and returned to the station.

Mansell made sure to brag about Kent when they returned, and when he settled himself in front of the computer, he was full of confidence. His worries about whether he’d be able to handle going back to work or not seemed to be largely unfounded, but as soon as he had that thought, Chandler appeared from his office.

He noticed Kent looking up at him and sent him a smile before going over to discuss something with Miles in the periphery of Kent’s vision. Kent decided to return the smile, ignoring the feeling his false memories had instilled in him right away. Chandler wasn’t responsible for that and he did not deserve Kent acting in any way as if he was.   
  
The feeling _did_ take a bit away from his confidence. He could be the most accomplished at his job, but if he couldn’t properly communicate with his superior officer, things weren’t gonna work out. Then he might as well try to get a transfer, even though it would hurt him to do so, and knowing Chandler, he would feel responsible for it and Kent didn’t want to put him through that. He just had to get past this thing.

But as soon as he thought that, he noticed a shift of movement to his side. His heart started to beat faster. Chandler was headed over towards him. He tried to tell his heart to shut up, but it wouldn’t listen.  
Chandler stopped at a respectful distance from him, and he found himself wishing back on the days where Chandler would be right behind him as they were captivated by something work related on the computer.

He couldn’t have it both ways and he was also thankful that Chandler was so mindful around him. How could he even be surprised at that? Chandler had been the one who’d advised them all on how to treat Miles when he came back from his panic attack, before all the boys had immediately ruined that upon Miles’ return.

“Great work, Kent!” Chandler told him, and Kent couldn’t help but smile and duck his head; his response to Chandler’s praise being so ingrained in him.

“Thanks, sir!”

When he looked up again, Chandler was also smiling. That had been a rare sight in the months before Kent’s “break” and it calmed him a little, reminding him of a time when things weren’t so bad.

“We’re glad to have you back.”

“Thanks, sir!”

“Are you ready to sit in on the interview? It was your arrest after all.”

Kent, uplifted by the recent conversation where the worst thing to happen was his heart beating a little faster, and by the success of the day, agreed to it.

To Kent’s happiness and growing confidence, the interview went well. He and Mansell had been right when they suspected drugs were involved. Simmons had panicked and run because he thought that was why they were there, but as soon as they brought up the murder, he came clean about the drugs to prove how he didn’t have anything to do with the murder. The victim had been involved as well selling on behalf of him, and he could even provide them with a list of names of people that might have ill will against the victim. And all throughout the interview, the worst thing Kent experienced was mild anxiety, which, even though uncomfortable, was something he was willing to battle in his determination to be back at his job alright.

In the briefing afterwards, they decided to follow up on these new leads and to contact his family again. They’d said they hadn’t heard from him in a long time, but they also hadn’t seemed very surprised at the news of his death. Sad, yes, but not surprised, and that made the team think that they’d actually known about his involvement with drugs but had chosen not to say anything for some reason.

After the briefing, everyone knew what they had to do the next day, and besides a couple of loose threads to handle at the end of the day, people could look forward to the end of shift. Kent decided that even though he was tired after the day’s events, he didn’t want any loose ends and therefore he stayed to work at his computer.

Time went by and Kent was stifling a yawn as he looked through his work on the computer, trying to figure out how much was left. He was exhausted at this point and really wanted to be done. He just had to power through he thought, when the desk lamp beside him flickered. He looked up at it, a sinking feeling in his stomach.

He sat back in his chair, staring into the bright light. Colours danced in his vision as he turned to look at the computer again, but his concentration was gone, and he couldn’t help but glance at the lamp again. He was so focused on it even though it was now working normally that he didn’t notice Chandler approaching him, having seen how exhausted he looked. Miles wasn’t there otherwise he was sure that Kent would’ve already been sent home, given that there weren’t any pressing matters to attend to, so Chandler was on his way to tell Kent just that.

Kent noticed a shadow approaching out of the corner of his eye and the feeling that something was wrong intensified. He turned to look and for a horrifying moment he was back in his dream, Chandler towering ominously above him ready to strike. He shoved himself so hard from the table that the chair precariously balanced on two legs, before it sent him tumbling to the ground. This was it. He knew what happened next. He held up his arms to protect himself.

“No please!” He yelled even though he knew it was in vain.

“Kent!” The call came simultaneously from Mansell and Chandler, but it was Riley who was down by him first.

“Are you alright? What happened?” she asked the clearly shaken Kent. He hoped the reason wasn’t too clear and tried to explain it away by blaming the chair.

Riley wasn’t convinced but didn’t press the matter, instead helping him to his feet again. When he glanced over at Chandler it was clear from his shocked and worried expression that he knew exactly what had happened.

Shame and disappointment filled him in an instant. All the progress that had been made seemed to come undone in one stupid moment, and Kent had to excuse himself to go to the bathroom even though he knew he was being obvious.

He’d hardly entered the solitary space before the tears prickling at the corners of his eyes started trickling down his face. It had been false security and if he could react in a way like that after such a successful day, then who was to say it wouldn’t happen again? He clenched his fists and jaw hard as he stared himself in the mirror willing himself not to cry. He made sure it didn’t show, took a couple of deep breaths and decided to walk out and announce that he was going home. He wasn’t sure he’d be able to stay together for far longer than that.

When he came out into the incident room again, Chandler was nowhere to be seen, and Kent felt both relieved and guilty. He told the others he would be heading home soon, and they agreed that so would they.

Kent could feel their stares at his back when he went to turn off the computer, but they didn’t mention it, which was fine by Kent. He didn’t know what he would tell them anyway. They’d be able to see through it as easily as his first attempt at blaming the chair. He simply said goodbye to them and returned home.

That night the nightmare returned.


	4. Chapter 4

It took all of Kent’s willpower not to call in sick the next day. He was tired after a rough night’s sleep and terrified of a repeat of the situation the day before. He still couldn’t believe he’d thought he was back in the dream. He badly wanted to apologise to Chandler for reacting like that, but he knew he wouldn’t be able to bring himself to do it.

Despite that, he was too stubborn to let himself give up after only two days back at the job, so he forced himself to get ready.

The trinket his aunt had made him provided a comforting weight in his pocket as he left his flat. This was not a day in which he felt in any way capable of willing away any spirits. Just getting through a normal work day was gonna take more than what he thought he’d be able to deal with, but he decided to ignore his pride and ask Miles if he could go home earlier that day. He would have to deal with this in smaller steps than he already had, and he decided that it was better not to push himself than to risk a situation like the day before.

Miles agreed readily, which both provided Kent with a sense of relief and a sense of shame. The rational side of him knew that he wouldn’t fault someone for having to take it easy after having been away for a month due to a work injury, but he couldn’t extent the same understanding to himself. If it was a physical injury like when he was on crutches, he would know his limits much easier. If he couldn’t run after a suspect, well then that was understandable, but since this was not a physical injury and since he even knew it wasn’t real, having to leave early from work just felt like he wasn’t as good as the others. He was sure that to them, not knowing what was wrong, he just seemed like he wasn't as good as he used to be.

But once again his stubbornness prevailed. He didn’t have to like it or be proud of it, but he had to endure it. At some point he’d be back to normal. He had to be.

“Hey Kent?” Mansell swung by his desk when he arrived at work, and Kent noticed the look of caution in his eyes straight away.

“Yeah?” Kent could already tell this was a conversation he didn’t want to have.

“I was just wondering,” he took a pause to see if he could find a better way of asking. “You know, uh what’s wrong?”

“I’m just a bit tired, that’s all,” Kent said, typing in a couple of words on his computer to indicate that he was currently working.

“No I didn’t mean right now, I meant,” Mansell paused again and Kent looked directly at him, actually hoping he would just get to the point. They both knew what it was gonna be about.

“It’s just. Last time you came back from a work injury you fit right back in with us all, and this time,” he scratched the back of his neck clearly uncomfortable, and Kent wondered why he’d even come over to have this conversation, since it didn’t do any of them good. He was probably just curious but had to tiptoe around the subject, since he knew how frail Kent was. It made his stomach turn to so visibly see the change in Mansell’s behaviour towards him. “Well this time, you seem so cautious, especially around…” he trailed off looking towards Chandler’s office.

“That’s really none of your business,” Kent replied, still staring up at him. Mansell looked taken aback by this.

“Uh sorry,” he laughed a bit to soften the tension between them. “I’m just a bit worried about you, mate. You know, yesterday, what happe…”

“I don’t need you to worry about me. Are we done here?” Kent snapped and returned his gaze to the screen in front of him, no longer able to look directly at Mansell. He did not want to talk about the day before. Out of the corner of his eyes he could see Mansell about to react, but he composed himself, and simply replied:

“Yeah, alright.”

Kent knew his calm reaction also stemmed from him treating him with caution, but at least he’d dropped the subject which was all he could ask for.

Their interactions over the next couple of days were brief and colder than when he’d first returned to work, but Kent got through the days alright. He did his job, went home before he got too tired or stressed out, and had minimal interactions with Chandler. The first two days, Chandler didn’t even approach him, probably of fear of earning the same reaction as last time, and he didn’t start talking directly to Kent again before Kent had been the first to seek him out with some information about a case. After that Chandler would sometimes talk directly to Kent, but not if he noticed him looking distressed or tired already.

Over time they finished the case. A small victory for Kent who could at least put off the worry that they could only solve cases properly without him there. They settled into a rhythm where Kent stayed until end of shift but never pushed himself further and he was never left alone with Chandler. Their interactions stayed short and professional which hurt the side of Kent that still looked up to him. He missed the time when he was Chandler’s right hand man after Miles, but for the sake of returning to work properly, he accepted that this was how it was gonna be from now on.

A new case had landed on their desk and Kent was busy working on the computer. His eyes wandered to Chandler who was seated in his office looking through some papers Ed had brought him earlier in the day. Both of his hands were clutched around a cup of green tea. Kent could understand that. Everytime he had to read something instead of write, he’d been warming his hands underneath his thighs. It was a dull and cold day in late January, and the kettle had been in a near constant boil all day to ward off the cold seeping in despite the heating at the station.

Kent was considering getting his third cup of the day when he was hit by an unusually cold breeze. He looked towards the windows to see if anyone had opened one for some reason. He heard someone approaching and quickly turned around to look that way when he saw Commander Anderson walking through the incident room. Not wanting to stare at him he quickly turned towards the computer again and hoped he’d just ignore him, despite him wildly looking around the room.

He only managed to pretend to look at the screen for a moment, when an icy cold grabbed him and his teeth started chattering just as the commander walked past him.

Kent’s head darted towards him again. The commander gave him a quizzical look over his shoulder but didn’t say anything. Kent didn’t shy away from his gaze, but as soon as the commander had entered Chandler’s office, he checked his pocket for his aunt’s trinket. It was lying securely in his pocket, but Kent could recognise that kind of cold anywhere and it had come from commander Anderson.

*

Chandler hadn’t gotten very far into Buchan’s research this time around. It was too far fetched for a case they’d only just gotten. They didn’t have enough details yet to start pursuing it with a specific historic case in mind, but Buchan had been very certain in his theory and had insisted that Chandler at least read a specific folder which Chandler had agreed to.

His mind had quickly wandered, and he’d grabbed a cup of tea to keep him company as he half-heartedly scanned through the pages. There wasn’t much more to do, since the different jobs had been delegated and he was currently waiting on the call from the morgue.

Out of the corner of his eye, he saw Kent typing at his computer.

Sometimes he wished that Kent hadn’t come back from his recovery. He felt horrible thinking like that, but before he came back, Chandler had mostly been able to push him from his mind when he was at work. The station’s atmosphere had grown brighter and team morale had gone up again during that time.

And most importantly: They’d started to crack cases properly for the first time.

All of that was still true since Kent’s return of course, but it had instilled a discomfortable buzzing in the back of Chandler’s mind, not unlike a feeling he’d had when Louise Iver was still around. It was like Kent was still tainted by her. He was definitely still influenced by her, and Chandler almost couldn’t bear it when he wished that Kent wasn’t there, cause it wasn’t Kent who was the problem. It was himself. Kent only served as a reminder of what a failure Chandler was, of how he had failed him.

It had been a horrifying realisation that her influence still hung so much over Kent that he had seen Chandler as the monster in his mind again on his second day back, and Chandler had avoided him the next couple of days for both their sakes. He couldn’t risk hurting him like that, and he couldn’t stand the reminder that he could have prevented it in the first place.

He’d briefly considered transferring Kent. He was sure they’d both be in a better place if they didn’t have to constantly fear her influence, but Kent had returned after a month away, he’d returned after seeing Chandler like a monster again, and he’d returned to Chandler’s side, when Chandler had avoided him. None of that could be easy for him, so Chandler knew he was serious about staying and therefore he’d decided against it. He didn’t want to take that choice away from Kent.

He would just have to live with the guilt and the hurt of seeing the way Kent looked at him, like he would attack him at any moment.

His thoughts were interrupted when commander Anderson unexpectedly showed up in his office. A cool breeze went through the door which had Chandler shuddering briefly.

“Commander Anderson!” Chandler greeted him happily if surprised. He stood up from the chair to shake the Commander’s hand and gestured towards the chair in front of his desk.

The commander took off his coat and hung it neatly across the back of the chair before sitting down.

“What brings you here?” Chandler asked. He looked down at his cup of tea, before asking the commander if he wanted any or maybe something stronger, but he declined.

“I wanted to congratulate you, Joe. Things seem to be looking up for you,” The commander said as Chandler sat back down.

“Not so embarrassing to come visit anymore?” Chandler said with what he hoped was a jovial tone. He’d understood the commander’s need to keep a formal distance from him and his team when things had been bad and the media had been breathing down their necks.

“No, I’ll imagine those days are behind us now. I’d offer you a promotion, but I know you don’t want that, so I’ll save myself the trouble, and simply offer you a well done on your previous cases. I’m impressed.”

Looking past the commander, Chandler caught the eyes of Kent who was seemingly keeping an eye on them. As soon as their eyes met, he hurriedly ducked his head.

“Is that the only reason you’re here?” Chandler wondered out loud. He reached for his cup of tea again when a sudden shiver went through him, but it had chilled to a point where it didn’t provide any comfort to be holding it.

The commander smiled. “You know, Joe. I didn’t rejoice in the fact that I had to keep a distance. I was in the neighbourhood and thought it would be nice to pay you a visit for once, now that it was appropriate.”

Chandler was used to the commander’s politics playing a role in their relationship, so he didn’t comment on the fact that normal families made time for each other even when it wasn’t convenient. He realised he hadn’t exactly been the best at keeping in touch either.

 “Well thank you, sir, and thank you for taking care of what happened at Louise Iver’s house. I never got to say that.”

“I understand. It’s the least I could do after being absent for a while.”

Chandler was distracted by Kent looking their way again. Why would he be so curious about his conversation with the commander? As he thought that, the cool air gripped him again, but this time there was no door being opened. He glanced towards his coat but thought it would be silly to put it on inside the station. He decided he should just have someone turn the heating up.

“You should come by someday, Joe. Have a nice meal together,” the commander broke the silence after Chandler had gotten distracted. He stood up from the chair, and Chandler moved around the table to shake his hand, before opening the door for him.

“We’ll find a time. Goodbye sir!”

“Goodbye, Joe,” the commander said and left the room, glancing towards Kent as he walked past him. Kent was no longer looking in their direction, but had his head bowed and looked intensely at the computer as if he hadn’t just been spying on them a couple of minutes ago.

Chandler was about to turn around and close the door to his office when he noticed the doors and windows in the incident room being closed. He found it odd where the breeze had come from when the commander had entered his office, but maybe it was something he’d imagined, cause the room was decidedly less chilly than it had been just a moment ago.  
  
 


	5. Chapter 5

Kent didn’t mention the feeling he’d gotten from commander Anderson to Chandler. He wasn’t a ghost. Chandler couldn’t have spoken to him otherwise, but he was _something._ Like with Louise Iver, his trinket had had no effect on commander Anderson, but Kent couldn’t imagine he was like her. Didn’t want to imagine he was like her. But even if he wasn’t, he could be dangerous.

He left work with unease about the fact that he hadn’t told Chandler. Chandler knew about his powers and accepted them now, so it’d be different from last time in that regard, but he was also close to the commander and might get angry that Kent would suggest such a thing. Kent could barely handle being close to Chandler when he was calm and collected like he’d been, at least around Kent, since he came back. He didn’t dare telling Chandler and being met with the same anger as he’d been met with the last time. The anger that had been the spark for his fake memory.

No, he didn’t want this to be a repeat of last time, but it was already strikingly similar. Kent was worried about Chandler’s safety, and worried about warning him as well.

His aunt had told him there were other things than spirits. Not all of them had to be evil, did they? If the commander was really out to harm Chandler, he could have done it years ago. Why help him so far only to turn on him? It didn’t make sense, so Kent decided not to try not to worry about his new insight about the commander.

He turned up to work the next day as usual. The first part of the day had him and Riley talking to a witness which turned out to yield no useful information.

They returned to the incident room slightly down after chasing a dead end. Looking at the picture of the witness on the whiteboard, Riley frowned.

“Will you do the honours of writing down our great find? Your penmanship is better than mine,” Riley said already heading for her desk.

Kent huffed as he walked over to add the info they’d gotten. No matter how little the witness had seemed to remember, anything could be important to the case. As he was writing he got the feeling that someone was watching him and turned around to see Chandler standing in the doorway of his office looking over towards him. _You still haven’t gone home?_ Echoed in the back of Kent’s mind. As they locked eyes Chandler started walking towards him. Kent looked down. Even though he was probably only headed over to hear how the interview had gone, Kent’s mouth had gone all dry and he tried to swallow a couple of times without much success.

“How’d it go?”

Kent’s voice got caught in his throat and he had to non-discreetly clear it before he could reply.

“Sorry sir, no luck. Witness had a memory like a goldfish,” he said gesturing with the pen towards what he’d written on the whiteboard.

Chandler didn’t reply but instead read what he’d written so far, while Kent again tried to clear his throat to make it less uncomfortable.

Chandler looked back at him and for a moment Kent worried that he’d misinterpreted it as him having something to say, but then he looked serious, and Kent felt his heartbeat grow faster.

“Kent, yesterday I noticed you staring into my office when the commander was there,” Chandler began.

“Sorry sir!” Kent replied immediately looking down at his feet, already cursing himself for so obviously staring when he’d tried to figure out if he noticed anything else different about the commander.

“No it’s not- did you- did you notice anything strange about him?”

Kent, taken aback by the question, stared back up at Chandler. He glanced over at Riley, but she didn’t seem to take any notice of their conversation.

“I- yeah. It felt like the spirits, but it can’t have been that. I can’t tell you anything else than I got the feeling when he walked past me. How did you-?”

“Is that feeling… cold?”

“Yes,” Kent croaked out even more surprised. He wanted to ask him again how he knew, but his dry throat wouldn’t let him. Chandler took notice of this and gestured towards the water cooler. Kent sent him a nervous smile before grabbing himself a cup. The cool water didn’t do anything about his heartrate but at least his mouth didn’t feel like a desert anymore.

In the meantime Chandler explained: “Something has been rummaging in the back of my mind for a while. He showed up no questions asked to help me after what happened at Louise Iver’s house. At the time I was relieved that the commander was there to sort out things for me like he’d done before, but he _knew_ more than he let on. I can feel it. Yesterday he seemed certain that our bad luck was behind us, like he too knew it was related to Louise Iver. Your curiosity tipped me off too and then there was this persistent cold that seemed to come from nowhere but disappeared with him leaving.”

“That means whatever he is, he is powerful if you felt it too,” Kent said.

“But you don’t know what he is?”

“No, I’m sorry.”

“So we don’t know if he’s dangerous,” Chandler said as he furrowed his brow.

“No, but he wouldn’t be out to hurt you _now_ , would he?” Kent asked partly to reassure himself.

Chandler didn’t respond immediately.

“I don’t know, but it doesn’t sit right with me. Is there any way you could try to find out more about him?” he said after a prolonged silence in which Kent had been extra aware of his own heartrate.

 “Yes, sir. I could try to contact my aunt. See if she knows anything.”

“Thank you, Kent. I’ve arranged a meeting with him, and I’d want to know as much beforehand before I confront him about this,” Chandler said before leaving Kent alone to finish writing on the whiteboard.

Kent, feeling drained after the conversation and the fact that Chandler thought of the commander as someone potentially dangerous, took an early day off to go see his aunt as soon as possible. He called her beforehand mostly to check if she was home. He knew she’d welcome him if he came by unannounced.

“Emerson!” she exclaimed as she enveloped him in a big hug. “How’s it going back at your work?”

“It’s a bit… tiring,” Kent said not knowing how else to put it. He’d shared his worries with her and how Louise Iver had affected the minds of everyone around him and especially himself, but had only told her that he’d experienced a nightmare as if it was real and hadn’t gone into detail about it involving his boss, so he didn’t want to share that particular worry about being back at the job.

“I understand, but I know that’s not what you want to talk about,” she said once again reading him like an open book.

“I think I’ve met another supernatural being. It’s the Commander. He’s different from what Louise Iver was or so I hope. Chandler felt the cold too, but he can’t have been a malicious spirit since the trinket didn’t affect him. I’m scared of what he might be though.”

“He might be a demon,” Kent’s aunt said matter-of-factly.

“A demon?!” Kent asked, half-hoping that she was pulling his leg.

“You said he was a commander, and while you don’t meet demons a lot, being a commander would definitely suit one. They seek and thrive off of power and often hold positions of power in some way. They’re living beings like you and me, so that’s why the trinket had no effect, but have a way of manipulating things into happening the way they want them to-”

At those words Kent couldn’t help but worry that he might be like Louise Iver was. She’d also been a master of manipulating others.

“- but like with ghosts, the more power they have the stronger their cold aura. That’s why your boss could sense it too.”

“Are they dangerous?”

“Their danger mostly comes from the power they acquire rather than any inherent powers they have, but they corelate, so if he gains power one way, he’ll also gain it the other way. This mostly translates into them being able to talk their way into more power, so yes there are lots of ways in which they can be dangerous, but not immediately to you. You can shake off their charm effects the same way you would will away ghosts.”

Kent thanked his aunt for her help and ended up staying for dinner upon her insistence. He’d been tired but he found it rude to just come by for her advice and then leave again, and they ended up having a nice chat about things that weren’t supernatural. It turned out a nice relaxed evening in good company was something he’d really needed. Something his aunt had probably sensed as well.

Leaving her house, feeling recharged and with his new knowledge, he felt like he needed to practice willing away ghosts again. He’d relied on the trinket too much the past days, and so when he went to work the next day, he left the trinket at home, which gave him several occasions to practice willing away ghosts - something that went easier than having to seek out Chandler to tell him what he’d found out.

He knocked on the door to Chandler’s office and Chandler looked up from what he was writing to smile at him. For a short moment Kent saw the nightmare smile that didn’t reach his eyes, but then he took a deep breath and recognised Chandler’s genuine smile.

“Kent?” Chandler asked when he saw him hesitate for a moment.

Kent smiled the best he could, once again silently apologising to Chandler for his rude behaviour, before telling him what he’d found out. He mentioned the manipulation as a warning, but the description seemed to calm Chandler.

“Yes, that does sound like him. I guess I can ask him about it myself when I go see him.”

Kent was glad to have been able to settle Chandler’s worries. He still felt uncomfortable about it, but he realised that him feeling uncomfortable might have also been due to the conversation with Chandler.

He sighed. Even such a small conversation took a bunch of energy from him. He really hoped there’d be a day when he didn’t have to feel this way anymore, but instead of dwelling on it, he grabbed his coat to go and clear his head with a brisk walk outside the station.

The air was cold but in a pleasant way that Kent appreciated. It felt different from the cold that came with the supernatural. He hadn’t been sure at first but now he could easily tell the difference, so when an icy wind passed through his jacket and caught his breath in his throat suddenly, he knew instantly that powerful spirits were near. He turned around to see who had appeared and forgot to breathe for a moment again when he saw the Krays.

“It’s been a while, hasn’t it?” One of them said to the other. Kent couldn’t recognise them from each other, same as the woman during the case which had been the reason, he had to see them walk free. He remembered feeling small and scared looking at them, remembering what they had done to him. Something he now felt near Chandler when his mind was being cruel.

“Oh, it has!”

“Go away!” Kent said, happy to hear that he sounded more confident than he felt.

“Oh, forgetting the lesson are we, boy? You did so good the last time we saw you. Didn’t say a word,” the first twin said.

The taunting actually made Kent feel braver.

“Just fuck off! You telling me to watch my mouth is nothing!” Kent said. Of course the whole experience had been horrifying, and caused him a great deal of pain and hurt, but when it came to silencing him, the fresher memory of having his tongue cut off and subsequently not having the ability to speak held more weight in regards to him not speaking.

“We’re not going anywhere, not as long as the traitor who killed us is still alive,” one of them said as the other one stepped closer to Kent. He took a step back, his bravery dwindling a bit, but he didn’t run.

“Then you’ll be here a long time. He disappeared,” Kent said. He was another one of their failed cases. Chandler knew him, cause he’d been a double agent during the case, but then he’d turned on them and killed the Krays and they hadn’t been able to find him since.

“Of course he did. He worked for someone. Someone who wanted to keep DI Chandler safe, and someone who needed us gone so he could take over from us. But us being here is your problem, boy. If he’s not found and killed, we’ll just have to hang around you,” as he said that, his brother stepped closer to Kent, but Kent reacted quickly. He didn’t run, but instead instinctively willed him away like he had with the weaker ghosts before him. The other Kray didn’t even get a chance to react to seeing his brother disappear from where they were, before Kent banished him as well. They weren’t gone from the station, but they wouldn’t be able to come near him for a while.

Kent pondered about what they’d said. It might be because of his paranoia over Commander Anderson being a literal demon, but the description they’d given of someone who might both want power and to keep Chandler safe sounded like Anderson to him.

Neither of those things were alarming on their own. Keeping Chandler safe was reassuring, and gaining power was in keeping with what his aunt had told him, but he’d been willing to kill people for that end. Chandler going to see the commander alone hadn’t sat well with him before and it certainly didn’t upon thinking of this new theory.

It might have been the confidence instilled in him from being able to will away ghosts as malicious as the Krays, but in that moment, Kent made a decision. When he came back inside, he found Chandler again, seated at his desk, writing, as he’d been before.

“Sir?” he said in a smaller voice than he’d intended. He prepared himself mentally for the next thing he was gonna say.

Chandler looked up, clearly surprised to see Kent back so soon. “Kent?”

“I want to come with you to the meeting with the commander!”

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading, and especially for leaving kudos and likes - I really appreciate it! :) The last chapter will be up in two weeks!


	6. Chapter 6

“You want to come with me to a personal dinner with the commander?” Chandler asked, a confused expression on his face.

Kent was immediately scared that he’d overstepped some kind of boundary and was about to apologise when Chandler continued.

“I take it you have a reason?”

Kent bit back the apology and decided to explain instead.

“The Kra- the Brooks’ ghosts just found me outside. They’re still here since they got killed, and from what they said, it seems like the killer could have been working for the commander. They knew he was working against them to keep you safe and that someone would want them death so they could take over from them.”

“You think the commander ordered Jack to kill them so he could take over from them?” Chandler still looked confused, and Kent decided that he wasn’t gonna push this. If he didn’t believe his theory after he’d explained then he’d just have to back off, scared of how Chandler would react to him insisting that the commander would do such a thing.

“Well in a way. Having them gone for good would leave a power vacuum-”

“A space for him to step into and lead,” Chandler interrupted.

“Sir?” Now it was Kent’s turn to be confused.

“He said something like that to me during the case. Something about exposing the corruption of the heart of parliament, the police and the press. Something we know they had a part to play in.  But maybe just exposing them wasn’t enough,” Chandler said, and Kent sighed in relief that Chandler found it plausible.

“But why come with me?” Chandler then asked.

“Well if he’s capable of that, then what else is he capable of? My aunt told me I could avoid his charm effects, but if you’re there alone, he might try to manipulate you.”

Kent looked determined even though he was clearly worried and Chandler agreed to let him come. He hadn’t listened to him last time, and he didn’t want to make the same mistake again. Even if the theory didn’t turn out to be true, what could it hurt to have Kent there as well, if Kent wanted to and felt like he could. It was definitely an improvement from when he first came back.

But even though Kent had been brave enough to say he wanted to come with Chandler, the day had taken a whole lot out of him and he went home early again.

The next couple of days he didn’t feel much braver and didn’t try to push himself too much, and thus the days went on as they previously had with Kent and Chandler having minimal interactions. Even though Kent had now had several successful conversations with Chandler, he still couldn’t help feeling anxious about him as much as he wanted that to not be the case.

He couldn’t feel that he’d improved at all and it made him second guess coming along. He knew from Chandler that it was a long drive to get to the commander’s house, and judging from his earlier emotional exhaustion after his shorter conversations with Chandler, he would be in a bad state already when they arrived. He wanted to prove to himself that he could even though his doubts told him otherwise, but more importantly than that, he wanted to be there for Chandler, should the commander really be up to something. If he was honest with himself, he wanted to prove to Chandler that he’d be able to as well. With all of those reasons to go, he ignored his worries and left the station together with Chandler Friday evening.

As expected, the car ride was tense and uncomfortable. They both tried with some small talk at first, but it fell flat. The following silence was unpleasant, and Kent felt on edge, though he tried to focus on the surroundings they were passing by instead. After a while, Chandler turned on the radio which helped distract him from his anxious thoughts.

When they at long last turned to stop in front of a big gate, Kent felt relieved. He took in the fresh air outside in a moment’s pause while Chandler buzzed to tell the commander they were there.

The gate opened and with that Kent’s short moment of relief was over. As he followed behind Chandler, he could feel his heartbeat growing faster and cause the now familiar nausea.

Kent tried ignoring it, but the closer they walked to the building the more Kent’s discomfort grew and suddenly, an intense fear came over him. He felt his face grow hot and his heart started racing a mile a minute. He had to stop walking when a wave of nausea threatened to make him sick on the spot.

Chandler stopped a few paces in front of him and turned around to see what was wrong.

“Kent, are you alright?” he asked as it was difficult to see his expression in the low light. When Kent didn’t answer, he made a movement to get closer, but Kent held up his hand and he stayed put.

“Please sir…” he barely got out between short ragged breaths. “I’m about to thr- I don’t wanna- on you.”

He gagged but kept himself from throwing up. He curled in on himself with embarrassment.

“Kent, it’s alright. Take a deep breath, in through your nose, hold, out through your mouth,” Chandler said recognising Kent’s anxiety.

Kent nodded shortly to tell Chandler he heard him. He didn’t dare to move too much for fear of throwing up in front of him. But as he started to breathe more deeply the nausea subsided a bit and Kent could feel his body becoming a little less tense.

“It’s okay if you need to leave, Kent,” Chandler informed him. The next thing Kent knew, tears were rolling down his face without warning, and his next deep breath was broken by a sob. At those words, Kent had realised where the overhanging sense of fear came from.

“I’m scared it will happen again,” he told Chandler. “I don’t want to have another memory like that.”

“I can go in by myself. You don’t have to go,” Chandler tried reassuring him. Chandler didn’t have the most experience comforting people, but it still felt odd and out of place that he had to talk to Kent from such a distance. He didn’t dare to come any closer for fear that Kent might get worse, but then Kent stepped closer to him.

“But I want to,” he spoke in hushed tones as if he didn’t want anyone else to hear despite there being no one around. “Please sir, just give me a moment!”

“I won’t leave you, Kent, if you still want to come with me, that’s okay, but why?” Chandler asked.

Kent’s breath had gotten shallow again. He closed his eyes forcefully trying to stop the flow of tears. He gulped a couple of times before gagging as the nausea had returned. He quickly turned away from Chandler but nothing happened. When he looked up, he was sure Chandler would have retreated from him, but he was still there beside him. Chandler gently reminded him to breath again. It helped again and he could finally answer his question.

“I’m sorry, sir. I hate this. It makes me feel so weak. I have to come along. I have to get over this. I don’t want to be a victim anymore. I just want you to see me like you used to,” Kent vented.

“No one sees you as a victim, Kent,” Chandler said thinking of how brave he found Kent.

“You do! You’re coddling me! And you have a reason to. I can’t handle anything! Just look at me,” Kent looked up at Chandler his face wet with tears.

“Mental health takes time and understanding. Trust me, I would know,” Chandler said with a small smile. “It doesn’t just get better just like that, but it does get better. And sometimes worse but that’s not permanent. Do you see _me_ as weak?”

“That’s different.”

“How so?”

“It’s- it didn’t come from some fake memory somehow inserted into your brain.”

“My mind lies to me all of the time. When I’m having a bad day, are you being considerate of me cause you think I’m weak?”

“No,” Kent replied and looked down at his feet.

“Then why is it any different when it’s you?”

“Because- because I _feel_ weak. And then I see you and the others acting differently around me, and I feel ashamed, cause it’s like I’m playing a victim card, and because…” saying how he really felt made him cry even more even though doing so in front of Chandler was exactly what he didn’t want, and he could barely get the last words out. “Because I’m hurting you by treating you like a threat just because my stupid mind tells me to.” Kent took a step closer to Chandler as a way of telling him that he didn’t think of him like that. “It makes me feel so guilty!”

“Please don’t, Kent. You’ve been through so much, and much of it has been caused by me, so it’s not really that unfounded,” realising that last comment probably wasn’t gonna help, he quickly continued: “But the important thing is that you keep fighting no matter what happens and how you’re feeling. You’re much stronger than you think.” Chandler wanted to tell him how guilty he felt himself, but it didn’t seem like that would help in this situation.

“I know how pointless this is to say, but don’t feel guilty, sir," Kent said recognising the guilt in Chandler. “I don’t blame you,” he added, smiling for the first time in a while.

“Only if you promise me you won’t feel guilty either,” Chandler said and extended a hand towards Kent.

Kent took it but added with a smile: “Well we’ll probably both be feeling guilty for a while still then, sir.”

Chandler smiled as they shook hands. He then added gently:

“You’re allowed to feel bad and to take the steps required to make you feel better, and people caring for you is a good thing. Where would I be without people like you or Miles?”

Kent didn’t answer right away but paused to reflect on what he’d said. The talk had helped, and his heartrate had gone down, so he didn’t feel as nauseous anymore. He dried his eyes with his sleeves and took another deep breath.

“Thank you, sir. I really appreciate this. I think I’m ready now.”

Despite being drained for energy, he did feel lighter after having that conversation with Chandler. It was a wonderful feeling having Chandler be the reason for him feeling less anxious for the first time since coming back to work.

The commander welcomed them at the door. Kent tried not to let it show that he got shivers from the cold emanating off him. At least it was only that and not the reaction he’d had towards Louise Iver once he’d gotten close to her. Anderson didn’t seem to take notice of it. He led them into his dining room where a fine dinner was waiting for them. Kent couldn’t help but feel a bit out of place as he sat down across from Chandler with the commander at the end of the long dining table.

“I’d like to extent my congratulations to you as well, DC Kent, for your recent successes,” Anderson said once they’d all sat down.

“Oh, um, thanks, I haven’t really played that big a part in that,” Kent said.

The commander raised his eyebrows at that but didn’t comment. He instead turned his attention towards Chandler cutting straight to the chase now that the pleasantries were dealt with.

“Now Joe, I would like to know why you felt like you couldn’t come here alone today.”

Chandler looked from Kent to Anderson before answering.

“Despite his humility, Kent actually played a huge part in taking down Louise Iver, and I felt like he deserved to be part of this celebratory meal,” Chandler said.

The commander huffed. “You’re not a great liar, Joe. You never were one for bringing people home for dinner. I happened to notice your reaction to seeing me at the station, DC Kent,” he said looking back at Kent. “You’re undoubtedly a psychic, so I take it you know what I am?”

Kent paused and looked towards Chandler for guidance. Chandler gave a slight nod.

“A demon?” Kent said, his insecurity seeping into his intonation.

“Yes, that _is_ what you call it, isn’t it?” he said with a bemused smile. “But you obviously didn’t know what Louise Iver was.”

“And you did?” Chandler asked.

“No. Not enough. I knew she had power, but I didn’t know how far it reached. I just knew I wanted to stop her.”

“But you knew I was the only one who could stop her?” Chandler asked as he looked straight into the commander’s eyes.

“I did, yes. I didn’t know that would involve killing her.”

Kent didn’t butt into the conversation to say that Chandler merely sent her back to someplace she couldn’t return from as long as he was alive.

“But you did know she tried to kill me, the same way my dad…” he trailed off and broke eye contact with the commander who kept his steely gaze on Chandler.

“I did not know that. I only knew your father was intent on stopping her as well and that he was one of the few who would be able to, along with you. That’s why I sent you on the case that turned out to be the Ripper. I knew she had a strong foothold in Whitechapel, and I thought stopping her, involved putting a stop to her plans. It wasn’t long after that I started hearing about the Krays. I held off on your promotion cause I knew they might have a connection to her and when I found out they did, I sent the case your way as well. When you succeeded there I was ready to call it a day and promote you, but you chose otherwise. It was only later that I realized you’d only destroyed part of what she’d set in motion and that there was so much more to come, and therefore it was easy to send you the interesting cases I’d promised. I knew you would be able to handle it,” Anderson explained.

“Why did you disappear? Why not help me?” Chandler asked his voice growing angrier. Kent winced but told himself it wasn’t directed towards him.

“I could not keep being too directly involved or she’d catch on and go after me. I knew she couldn’t directly hurt you, so it was safer that way.”

“She couldn’t directly hurt my dad either and you know what happened to him!” Chandler snapped.

“I didn’t know it was because of her! I don’t want to see harm done to you, you know!” the commander raised his voice as well.

“Well you've caused a lot of harm to me for someone who’s said that so often. Why didn’t you tell me?” Chandler said trying to sound calmer as he’d noticed Kent shrinking in his chair across the table. He grabbed his jar of tiger balm and started to apply it to his temples.

The commander followed suit and spoke in a more civil manner. “Would you have believed me?”

Chandler hesitated. “No,” he answered truthfully. “But you put me in a lot of danger, even if you try to tell yourself that you didn’t.”

“I tried to protect you as best as I could,” Anderson said.

“Does that include having Jack look after me during the Kray case?”

The commander held his gaze for a moment. “Yes.”

“And were you the one who told him to kill the Krays?”

The commander smiled. “Their demise was unfortunate,” he said simply and took a deliberate bite of his dinner to indicate that he was done talking.

Chandler took that as enough of an answer. They ate in silence for a bit, before he spoke again.

“So all of this power. What do you get out of having it? What are you gonna use it for?”

“I get power, of course, and that means more opportunities. More opportunities to rid this city of crime and corruption and make it better.”

“And is this going to happen in a similar way to the Krays? To Louise Iver?” Chandler said, not trusting his godfather to hold such a position anymore. He was starting to look a lot like the crime and corruption he said he wanted to rid the city of.

“Do not forget that you are the direct cause of what happened to Louise Iver and that I covered for you,” Anderson warned.

Chandler didn’t know what to respond to that.

“It’s okay, Joe. It needed to be done. I understand your feelings, but from now on we can look ahead to a brighter future. Like I said the other day, I would offer you a promotion, but I know you’re happy where you are. You and your team,” he nodded towards Kent slightly, “are doing well, and it’s only gonna get better from now on. These are good times we are entering. I’m proud of you and I look forward to our further cooperation!”

Chandler gave the commander a small smile at that. “Thank you, sir. I look forward to it as well!”

Kent confusedly watched the commander go from warning Chandler to buttering him up and Chandler who’d been so angry as to make Kent sweat nervously accept the commander’s words just like that, and he knew instantly that this must be the manipulative powers that he had.

He didn’t know exactly what to do about it, but he focused on banishing the commander the same way he would a ghost, and as he did that, he could see Chandler furrowing his brow out of the corner of his eye.

“Was that-?” Chandler asked towards Kent who nodded. “Did you just try to manipulate me?” he asked the commander incredulously.

The commander glared at Kent furiously.

“I didn’t think someone like you would be able to counteract me. Not now!”

“Watch your tone!” Chandler said.

The commander stood up suddenly, making Kent flinch. Chandler was tense, waiting for him to make a move.

“I need you both to leave now!”

Neither of them needed to hear this twice. They said their brief goodbyes and walked out towards the car. Chandler stopped as the gate closed behind them.

“For a moment there I really felt fine about the whole situation. Like everything really was alright,” Chandler said. He sounded disappointed and Kent felt a pang of regret at having stopped it.

“I’m sorry for interrupting, sir.”

Chandler turned towards him, a gentle smile on his face. “No, I’m glad that you did. The commander might not want to see me harmed, but he’s manipulated me and put me in harms way, and I don’t want to just forget that. We might not be able to arrest him without proof of what he’s done, but if he wanted me charmed like that, it means he’s worried about what I might do. And the thing that I’m, that _we_ are gonna do, is to try to find a way to keep him in check and stop him from misusing the power that he has.”

Kent smiled at him, glad to hear the positive outlook on what must have been a painful realization for Chandler. The smile was soon mirrored even bigger on Chandler’s face.

The way back home in the car was much less tense. For the first time in a long time Kent could actually relax in Chandler’s company, and he, exhausted from the evening’s events, fell asleep sometime along the way. A peaceful sleep with no nightmare.

After that, things at the station seemed to go back to normal more or less. The banter and teasing flourished in the incident room, and everyone took the ups and downs as they came. Kent and Chandler slowly but surely went back to where they were before Louise Iver entered their lives. It didn’t happen instantly, but in small steps, but it had been a huge help to see tangible proof of him getting better when Chandler had helped him overcome his panic attack and he’d trusted so much in him that he could fall asleep in his car. It had been Chandler’s advice that really helped how Kent felt in his day to day struggle. He was no longer ashamed of not feeling good yet, of taking the steps to make himself feel better or of letting the others be considerate of him, and he learned to accept that some days were worse than others but that that didn’t mean that he was back to where he started. He also learned to be more vocal about when he wasn’t feeling well to Miles and Chandler, mostly Miles on the days where he really wasn’t feeling well and was scared of having a negative reaction towards Chandler. Because he took care like that, he never experienced anything around Chandler besides the increased heartbeat and subsequent nausea once in a while as well as the occasional dry mouth, but never any actual fear towards him nor did he ever see him as the Chandler that had appeared in his fake memory.

They didn’t hear anything from the commander, and they continued to do well on their cases, so at least he wasn’t using his power in the same way that Louise Iver had been which was a relief, but Kent and Chandler both remained vigilant to try and see what he used his power for. It didn’t yield many results, but as time went on it became a project they would work on together whenever there was a quiet moment at the station, and once the memory had faded to resemble just a nightmare he once had, Kent couldn’t help but look forward to these quiet moments in the company of Chandler.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This last chapter became quite a bit longer than the others, but there was no natural place to divide it into 2, so enjoy! :)  
> Thank you so much to everyone who’s read this story – especially to those commenting and leaving kudos! ^_^


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